Remember the book entitled “How to succeed in business without really trying”? There must be another book somewhere called “How to run for President without really trying” now being used by Mitt Romney as the basis for his campaign. The initial paragraph of the book probably reads something like this:
“Congratulations on the purchase of this book! It is your first step to a successful run as the party nominee and eventually the presidency. This guide book will provide you with enough information to win the nomination of your party and defeat an incumbent President who stands in the way of your rightful place in the White House. Let’s get started.”
Throughout the book, there are undoubtedly lots of do’s and don’t’s for use along the campaign trail. Do look Presidential, Don’t give a lot of interviews (if any!), Do use negative attack ads, Don’t admit to any flaws, mistakes, or flip-flops in the past, etc. Somewhere in the book, there must be a section describing how to construct a stump speech that the candidate will have to give over and over, except for a change in the name of the city or state being wooed.
Stump Speech Outline:
o Start by pointing to random places in the audience during the initial applause as if you know everyone there and then thank the state for its warm welcome (make sure you remember which state you are in!) and mention a whole bunch of local politicians in the audience to make it look like you have lots of endorsements from the state
o Tell a heart-warming story about immigrant parents who came to this country with a dollar in their pocket and a promise of a better life, and sacrificed a lot so that eventually you and your ego could run for president
o Then attack any rivals in the primary with exaggerated statements about their minor offenses as the main mechanism to influence the crowd to vote for you. Lots of mud-slinging is encouraged since some of it may stick for those not following closely, which is most of the voting public
o Throw out a lot of applause lines, sound bites, red meat and vitriolic statements that tend to pander to the audience. These portions will show up on the 24-hour news channels and increase your visibility in the media, effectively getting free air time.
o Attack the incumbent president on all partisan issues and say you’ll do better. Tell them what a lousy job the administration is doing and that the country is headed in the wrong direction. But NEVER say exactly how you will do better. Keep them guessing. Otherwise, they will find some flaw in your approach. NEVER let them pin you down on any issue so keep specifics out of the speech. In fact, do not let them know where you stand on any issue so that it cannot be debated in the media, or anywhere else.
o Wrap yourself in the flag, the constitution and religion, as you recite various portions of the Declaration of Independence. Sing God Bless America, America the Beautiful and the National Anthem – even if you can’t sing. Remind the crowd that you want your country back, that you are fighting for the soul of America and that the government is by the people and for the people. Toss in a line about keeping the military strong and remind everyone to “Support our troops at home and abroad” to seal the deal. None of this means anything but voters will eat it up like hogs at a trough!
o End with the fact that America’s best days are still ahead, and it’s the last best hope for the earth as the shining city on the hill. Now smile and wave like you just gave the best speech in recorded political history! Start glad-handing with the folks on stage and then in the audience, while keeping the smile pasted on your face and an ample supply of hand sanitizer in your pocket.
With this type of speech, repeated over and over like a broken record, you will win over a large segment of the GOP population. Make sure you stay on script every time you give the speech; otherwise, you might inadvertently say what you mean, rather than not meaning what you say. Although you’ve said absolutely nothing of substance in the speech, everyone will walk away thinking that you are the right person to lead the nation to glory.
Commentary: Isn’t it about time for Romney to re-work his entire stump speech so that it has some content, some vision, some positions on key issues and most importantly – solutions? It’s getting tiresome listening to the same old uninspiring talk everyday. It’s not working! And while he’s at it, he should stop following the guide book and start working on a real campaign than can excite the GOP electorate!!!